Flash the Monkey King

If you'd told me two weeks ago that I would be a prince I probably wouldn't have believed you. Now this is the story sit right there and I'll tell you how I became the fresh prince of bel-air. Ok so actually I'm not the fresh prince of bel-air. I'm not really a prince at all by definition, it's more so the metaphorical type of prince sorta like prince charming.

So it was a regular Saturday like any other and I was walking down a dirt path in the forest near my house. I came upon a monkey sitting in the path. Now I became rather confused as to why a monkey was in this forest because monkeys aren't exactly native to this area. He opened his mouth and I was expecting for him to start howling but boy was I wrong. He decided to nearly give me a heart attack. In a rather deep voice almost like that of Morgan Freeman he spoke. He said "I seem to have fallen from a tree and hurt my leg. I hope you don't mind but I would like to ask for your assistance here."

So I pull my self together and ask this monkey how he could talk and how he got all the way out here. He looked at me and said "Well you see I was once a monkey used for genetic experimentation however the facility had a major accident and everything started to fail and they locked us creatures in the facility. However I escaped through a hole in the roof and came to look for a kind human to assist us." (

I thought it over and decided to help these animals so I grabbed some bandages and as I wrapped up the monkeys leg he explained how the animals chose him as their king. So I proceeded to spend the next week helping him heal in which we discovered his talking was not the only extraordinary ability. We also discovered he can run at incredible speeds and has above average strength and intelligence. (347)

So I decided to call my simian friend flash for his super speed and quick wits. He had finally returned to his normal state when we decided to go rescue his friends. I climbed on his back and we ran at over 300 miles per hour to the facility where he was held.

When we got there I discovered that the scientists had welded the doors shut. The welding job was terrible so I decided to try and break through the weld. I looked around until I found a large metal canister. I picked up the canister and bashed open the door.

The animals poured out of the building and my good friend flash the monkey king look and me and said " I declare you my prince. You are now the prince of the animals on this facility."

So that's the story of how I became a prince.

This story was written for the dude write flash fiction challenge and is almost exactly 500 words. Thanks for reading feel free to comment.

Those random things you say.

The following is a compendium of random words and phrases that can be used in the place of an exclamation of shock or pain or excitement or just for fun. As we all know sometimes you are just so upset or in so much pain that you have to just yell and these can be used in place of any inappropriate phrases or words.

Please feel free to leave a comment with your favorite.

~ BUCKET!
~ What the Duck
~ Aww snap crackle pop
~ Dolphin Whale Tuna Carp Salmon Crab Herring etc...
~ What the Carp
~ Oh carp
~ Salamander Shoes
~ Snapple
~ Wiiiiii Oooooo
~ Wazzzzzzzzaaappppppp
~ awwww sheets
~ son of a blogger
~ should of had a v8
~ Muscle Cramp
~ 16 horses and a bucket
~ Schmitty Werben-jaegermanjensen
~ Horse Teeth
~ Kumquats

And let's not forget the ever so classic
~ OH MY @$&*#%*~%#*@&$@$*+*€%#>!?!*%



Thanks for reading don't forget to comment with your favorite.

All About the Stats: A reflection

This is going to be my reflection on the second week and my first of the dude write weekly competition. As we enter week three I've realized something. For us guys everything is about statistics.

In sports it's all about how many points you earn and how many points you stop. In shooting video games it's all about how many kills and how many deaths you have.

In blogging it's all about how many page views you get and how many followers you have. The dude write competition has added a new element to the blogging world. It's added a bit of friendly competition. It's all about who's blog is the most enjoyable and the most relatable and the best written. It's given me a motivation to be a better blogger to blog more often and have a few blogs up my sleeve. It's added a new element of fun and just makes blogging that much more enjoyable. It's not about who's post is the manliest it's about who out of all of us guys and our caveman brains can sit down and write the most enjoyable post. So I just wanna thank my dad and his fellow editor YoungmanBrown for this new encouragement and joy in the blogging world. You both deserve Diamond Man cards just for the idea.

Thanks for reading feel free to comment.